Pregnancy in Korea

Living in a society where women are already seen as the weaker sex makes pregnancy.....fun?

Here are some things I've learned about pregnancy here:

-Women do not work after 5 months- they need to prepare for the pregnancy
-You should not exert yourself- I didn't even say over-exert yourself. I just said exert yourself.
     For example, the other day I was just trying to mop my classroom- this did not require any heaving lifting or    bending or anything like that. One of my co-workers, who's very motherly, took the mop away as she laughed like I was ridiculous for wanting to do such a thing and rubbed my belly. That was ok- I didn't mind passing on the workload. What I don't like is the whole mindset that pregnant women are utterly helpless, hopeless, and in a miserable state that they just have to bear for 9 months.

-EVERYONE (all pregnant women that is) waddles. This is not necessary! I'm talking women who don't even have a baby bump are waddling around holding their stomachs or backs, arching their backs, and looking in pain. It's just something you do here. I'm in my 7th month of pregnancy and still not waddling. My doula told me if she catches me waddling around she's gonna get on my case. It's really bad posture and a lot of the time it can be controlled. Not always- especially not in the last few weeks when the baby drops and/or is really heavy and pushing against the bladder. But this is way over-dramatized here and it's really just that- drama. It's for attention.

-You are expected to gain no more than 12 kilos (about 26.5 pounds). Any more than that, and the doctor will likely advise you to go on a diet. Some doctors will also refuse to allow epidurals or vaginal births. . Dieting while pregnant???? Women are obsessed with their weight here. One of the reasons C-sections are so popular in Korea (42%) is because right after the C-section, the woman can also have a tummy tuck done at the same time, expediting the return to her slim figure. I'm not lying. When it comes to weight, the fact is some women gain more, some gain less. If you are eating healthy and physically active, what is there to worry about?

-At birth, the baby is whisked away and only brought back a couple times a day during a woman's hospital stay. Koreans believe that women "need to rest" because of course they just went through a really traumatic experience (birth) and need lots of time to recover.
-A lot of Korean women go to these special birth recovery centers- even if they have family close by- for the 2 weeks after birth because they are very weak and again, need that time to recover. I'm all for family and friends helping out. I know those weeks after birth are hard. But I don't care for the belief that pregnant women/women who just gave birth are utterly helpless to do anything on their own.

-You are expected to have an ultrasound at every visit and viewed as strange if you try to opt-out.

-There's no such thing as cute pregnancy clothes. The maternity clothing sections here are literally full of granny-style muumus or long, over-sized shirts. Korean women are very fashionable but that seems to be thrown out the window when they're pregnant. I will say that lately I have noticed a little more fashion in pregnant women.

-Traditionally, after the baby is born the father is responsible for hanging a special rope made out of twine to let people know that a child was born, and to stay away from the home. People are not allowed to cross the rope or come to the home (no visitors) for 100 days after the child is born. After that there is a celebration when they will present the baby to everyone else. This is still very commonly practiced. If a woman takes her baby out of the house before 100 days, she is likely to get scolded by the ajummas (older women). I've heard this even happens to foreigners, so we'll see. I'm definitely not staying in our tiny apartment for 100 days!

-Exercise- it is believed that exercise, running, or anything "strenuous" can cause miscarriage. People look at me funny when I'm at the gym; and I'm not even doing anything strenuous. I don't really see any pregnant women out walking around. Last week I went to the chiropractor and mentioned that I was exercising and he freaked out and started asking a bunch of questions and was really worried about me.

Did you know?
-In Korea, doctors are prevented by law from telling parents the gender of their child due to the cultural preference for males. This cultural preference sadly leads to abortions if people find out they are having a girl. Thus, the law preventing the doctors from announcing the gender. I'm pretty sure foreigners are exempt from this though because I distinctly remember the doctor saying "Well, it looks like a boy!"

Here's some funny things I've learned about birth in Korea:
-Koreans believe that if there is meconium in the amniotic fluid, that your baby's IQ will drop. This is often a reason given for early induction by doctors...so there won't be any meconium!
-They believe that after the birth, the mother should only eat seaweed soup for a month. Seaweed is very high in iron, but I can barely stand to eat that stuff once a week! No thank you.
-They also believe it is very important for the woman to be kept hot- this means heavy blankets and heat even in the summertime. I'm not joking. Turning on the A/C in a hospital room after a woman has given birth is enough to send all the Koreans in the nearby proximity into a frenzy. It's advised for foreign women giving birth in hospitals to request a private room for this very reason. This is one reason I am staying away from the hospitals here.
-The husband is not included in the birth. This is similar to how the birthing process was in the early 1900s in the States. I guess it makes sense, since S. Korea is a relatively new nation/democracy. A lot of things have been changing here throughout the years.
-Here are some other ones:
Staying inside for at least 21 days after the baby is born  (this is to protect both the mother and the new baby, and can be done at a birth hotel or at home, to be cared for by either of the new Grandmothers)
Not showering or washing hair for 21 days after the baby is born (this one appears to be on the way out, but has something to do with the mother’s weakened physical state and the need to keep her warm)
Avoiding cold foods and drinks (it is thought that a new mother is highly susceptible to cold and that it will settle into her joints and cause arthritis if she is not careful)
Wearing sweaters and thick socks (again, even in the middle of August)
Avoiding hard or crunchy foods (thought to be bad for the mother’s teeth gums)

Oh, Korea!