I'm starting a new book called the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I'm really excited to read this. Even though I don't have a newborn yet, I'm taking a break from all the pregnancy books I've been reading and starting some parenting books.
There is a popular book out there called Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I have not read the book but from the summaries I have heard/read it's basically a parent-directed approach to regulating your baby's sleeping and feeding schedules. This method uses the "cry it out" method to teach children to self-regulate. Those of you who have read the book feel free to correct me- like I said, I haven't read it.
There's another style of parenting called "attachment parenting." I also don't know much about this approach, but from the little I do know, it almost seems to be in direct contrast to the Babywise method.
In comes the no-cry sleep solution. I've only made it through the introduction but I'm super excited to read this. The author points out there are 2 basic schools of thought when it comes to babies and sleep. One side advocates letting a baby cry until he/she learns to fall asleep on their own (babywise). The other side says that it is normal for babies to wake up at night and that it is a parent's job to nurture the baby- all day and all night. Eventually, when your baby is ready, he/she will sleep through the night (attachment parenting??).
The two methods can be summed up as "cry it out" or "live with it." The author wanted neither for her family, and I feel the same way. That's why she wrote the book- to "find a road somewhere between nighttime neglect and daytime exhaustion that would be nurturing for my baby and for me."
I agree so far! I used to be an advocate of the crying it out method. It was popular, many pediatricians recommended it, and it seemed to work just great. But I'm starting to think there is a better way.
Thoughts?
GUESS WHAT? IT'S ME..MESHA...READING YOUR BLOG!!! :)
ReplyDeleteNot that this matters much, because I don't have kids so I'm sure it'll be TOTALLY different when I have my own, however, in my counseling we've learned a little bit about attachment and detachment and how early stages in life impact a child's attitudes towards the world and others based off of the attention they received as a child. How they can pick up on little things that are communicated through a mothers eyes and body language and how they can feel whether a mother empathizes with their emotionally needs or rejects them/simply puts up with them reluctantly and with annoyance. Anyway, it's been interesting and I'm excited to hear what comes of the book you are reading because it sounds AWESOME having the happy medium. Think about parenting in Biblical times? Most families didn't have large homes and oftentimes a child stays fairly close to their parents - that attachment style I think produces a healthy relationship and bonding for both parent and child and prolongs that sense of "independence" that is almost encouraged anymore, but I don't know that it's necessarily as wise. It's with this same attitude of independence and non "need" of Mommy and Daddy that more submission issues arise later in my opinion. That covering that comes from a parent and trusting in their protection, their nurture, their love - I think it can be compromised from the "just let them calm themselves approach." Anyhow, that's my spiel - again, as a non-parent.
LOVE YA...regardless, I know YOU will be an awesome Mom and Taylor will be a GREAT and (fun) Dad!!! You've been handling kids since you were a kid yourself and Taylor definitely knows how to be with kids and seems to take to it quite naturally.
Now to catch up with other blog posts that I'm behind on...which likely won't get response nearly as long and drawn out.
Love ya, miss you!